Does this actually work for you?

Moving beyond New Years resolutions for achieving your goals

Photo by Riccardo Chiarini on Unsplash

“Reality is made up of circles but we see straight lines.”

– Peter Senge

Does following New Years resolutions actually work for you?

I know it does for some people, but the vast majority don’t stick with them for long enough to see the fruits of their labour.

I’m not here to bash New Years resolutions. I actually like them in some contexts.

They spark change in people, and it’s a moment where many people reflect on their life and attempt to make change.

That counts for something.

When we attempt something new, we gather more information about the processes and routines that work (or don’t) in our lives.

Problems happen when we bite off more than we can chew, and in a few short weeks succumb to the comfort of our past routines or worse, slide further back.

The other problem is when we view our falling short as being a failure, rather than as an oppurtunity to learn. We think we’re a screw up without really taking the time to examine our situation as a whole.

From the beginning of setting a resolution right through to its bitter end, we are thinking in purely linear terms.

And this is a mistake because as the quote I carefully selected for the article suggests: reality is made up of circles, but we mistakenly only see straight lines.

“This is my resolution. Then I’ll be successful.”

“This is the path I must take. Then I’ll be achieve amazing things.”

“It didn’t work out the way I wanted it to. I failed.”

“The timing wasn’t right. I’ll wait until it feels good to start, then I’ll commit.”

It might be a poor assumption to make of my end - that you actually think that life is so black and white. Yet, it’s one I witness daily with not only in my coaching practice but as well in my own life.

Even writing this newsletter publication I am quick to torment myself with unrealistic expectations.

• How the hell am I supposed to get x number of subscribers by then?

• Why aren’t my open rates higher on this post?

• Which GIF will get the best reaction?

We think resolutions are enough, and look at things in a linear, black and white fashion. This is the problem we may not otherwise see.

Resolutions are a part of the change process, not the entirety of it

Resolutions are not plans, they’re statements. When we set out our year with absolute goals such as “I will stop eating sugary snacks after dinner once and for all!” we are simply making a proclamation. Well intended, but this is the easy part.

Difficult is making a plan that you can actually stick to, and harder still is to follow the plan consistently.

Understanding systems can help you create better conditions for you to reach the goals you set for yourself. This is because you are seeking to learn and understand multiple dimensions that influence your behaviours, rather than striving with blinders on.

Keep in mind, a system is

1. a set of things working together as parts of a mechanism or an interconnecting network.

2. a set of principles or procedures according to which something is done; an organized framework or method.

So let’s break down your resolutions for this shiny new year of 2022. In this way, you’ll better understand your situation, what you can do to change, and how to stick with your new habits for the long haul.

Look at what’s around you

You first need to understand that the environment you find yourself in, from your home, to your workplace, to your neighbourhood, to your city, all impacts your health and fitness. Where you are, what you surround yourself with and who you spend the most time with all play into the greater system of your health.

How can you improve your environment to make it more conducive to becoming healthier?

• Remove processed foods from your home

• Find a group of people who support your goals

• Add a standing desk to reduce time spent sitting each day

Observe the chain

The next element to consider is how your own behaviours and situations you find yourself in throughout a day or week impact your current decisions.

Reaching for that chocolate bar late at night? It might not be about the chocolate bar whatsoever, but rather you’ve felt bored and unsatisfied all day so you want a small moment of pleasure.

Or you had a heated argument with a loved one and the leftover holiday baking is just radiating warmth and goodness to make you feel better.

Observing the chain simply means to keep track of your daily events and see if you can find patterns of when you behave in a way you wish to change (e.g., limiting processed foods) and other moments where the behaviour was linked to (e.g., going to the grocery store angry and hungry and buying chocolate bars and chips in the first place.)

Stick to the plan for long enough

Bruce Boudreau is the new head coach of my favourite hockey team, the Vancouver Canucks. Since his arrival, they started with a seven game win streak, and now have an 8-0-1 record. For the non-hockey buffs reading this, that means eight wins and one overtime/shootout loss (which gets you a point in the standings).

Pretty damn good I must say, and it’s been a blast to watch. Okay, let me get to the point here.

Shortly after his arrival, he mentioned to the media that it takes around ten days for a new team he coaches to adopt his systems and start playing the way he wants them to. From that point on it’s about adapting and continuously improving on what’s been taught.

He didn’t come in expecting players to “get it” from day one. He didn’t even come in trying to go on a massive win streak. He wanted to establish the right habits with the group, and the expectation was to merely “win the week,” meaning to win three of the four games they had played when he first came on.

So here’s the lesson:

Set expectations that are realistic, and do actions that you can commit to for the long haul.

Don’t expect that you’re going to hit your stride from the beginning of this month, and never slow down ever again.

Habits take time to form. Be patient and persistent. Keep at it, embrace the struggles, and stay consistent. Focus on what’s in your control and discard everything that is not.

Next time you’re seeing straight lines, thinking in purely linear, black and white, all or nothing terms, take pause.

Zoom out, and examine the “circles” and greater reality around you. There’s more influencing you than you think. And once you understand that, you can take the steps to improve.